Mungkin

“If I’m not there now, physically, I’m always before you, come what may”

- Ingenue - Atoms For Peace.


Kenapa ya? Rasanya saya tidak punya banyak hal untuk dilakukan akhir - akhir ini.

Hahaha bohong sih, banyak kewajiban yang saya ‘tunggak’ dan seharusnya diselesaikan. Tapi yaa, tahu lah. Procrastination is bliss.

Saya punya banyak hal, yang berputar di kepala ini, menunggu untuk dikeluarkan sebelum keluar tanpa sengaja.

Kepala ini mirip komedi putar, semuanya ecstatic, ada musik yang sahut - sahutan bersama suara ceria anak - anak kecil yang rusuh.

Atau bisa juga mirip suara stasiun. Kereta api baru datang, tapi sebentar pergi. Orang - orang saling sapa dan saling bercengkrama untuk terakhir kali sampai entah kapan ketemu lagi, lalu pisah.

Semua sibuk di otak ini. Bahkan realitas, memori, khayalan, ekspektasi; sudah semakin membaur dan sulit untuk dipilah dan dikenali.

Oh, mungkin yang harus pertama kali saya tulis adalah alasan kenapa saya pasang kalimat di awal tadi ya.

Karena…

Well, sedikit melankolis dan menjijikan, mungkin.

Di salinan kalimat dari lagu itu tersimpan rasa, juga ekspektasi.

Mungkin benar, masih, entah sampai kapan.

Physically, saya nggak bisa ada di sekitarmu, tapi mungkin masih.

Mungkin.

Dan,

Hahaha. Saya sendiri kurang yakin bilang, unsur penyemangat penuh harapan itu masih ada, mungkin secuil. Atau bahkan tidak sama sekali.

Dua bulan lalu, masih mungkin untuk saya ada.

Dan saya baru menemukan, bahwa,

“You can’t just show up when you just messed up”

Mungkin kamu sama.

You can’t stand me, so you left.

Even though I’m the one who messed up.

Dan mungkin ketika,

Kamu meniup semua biji dandelion, semuanya terbang jauh lalu lenyap.

Mungkin…

100 Truths

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

This supposed to be posted on Facebook, karena nggak ada fasilitas ngetag di Tumblr, yauwis ga usah. Post this if you want, anybody.

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Kratingdaeng nyahaha
2. Last phone call: Bapak
3. Last text message: Dio
4. Last song you listened to: Inside and Out - Feist
5. Last time you cried: days ago

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: nope
7. Been cheated on: yes, I guess?
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Ya.
9. Lost someone special: Yep
10. Been depressed: Haaahahahaha I guess I actually am depressed
11. Been drunk and threw up: Nope

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Blue, especially Navy 
13. Gray
14. Turqoise

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2013)
15. Made a new friend: Yep, and lost some, I guess
16. Fallen out of love: Hm yep
17. Laughed until you cried: I guess not
18. Met someone who changed you: yep
19. Found out who your true friends were: YES.

20. Found out someone was talking about you: Hahahahahahahaha (ketawa aja)
21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: Hm hm hm hm
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Prolly three-quarter of it
23. How many kids do you want? Two
24. Do you have any pets: Nope
25. Do you want to change your name: Nah
26. What did you do for your last birthday: introspeksi retrospeksi blah, what 20-ish people would do, I guess?
27. What time did you wake up today: nine
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Baca cerita serem serem. Oh you should try: Kumpulan Cerita yang Bila Diselidiki Maknanya Akan Menjadi Sangat Mengerikan!
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: HOLIDAY and HOLIDAY.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: Minutes ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: self control
32. What are you listening to right now : Roman Picisan - Dewa
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes? Aneh banget sih pertanyaannya hahahahaha
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now: Nothing
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook, Twitter, Last.fm, Tumblr
36. Whats your real name: Dewi Retno Pertiwi
37. Nicknames: Dewi, Dew, Wi, Dedew, Iwed, Retno, Dedewh Hapuntenz MASIA.
38. Relationship Status: single
39. Zodiac sign: Pisces
40. Male or female?: ADUH. Pertanyaan paling susah.
41. Primary School?: Taruna Bakti
42. Secondary School?: T.. A.. R U N A B.. A.. K T I
43. High school/college?: Tarbak lagih
44. Hair colour: hitam
45. Long or short: pendek
46. Height: 162?
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Hahahahaha tau ah
48: What do you like about yourself? Hm. My name, I guess
49. Piercings: None
50. Tattoos: ga ada
51. Righty or lefty: Right


FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: Playgroup, pernah dijahit dagunya gara - gara apa yah lupa ._.
53. First piercing: waktu bayi atuh
54. First best friend: Kalo ngga Ninis, Farah
55. First sport you joined: Swimming
56. First vacation: Haduh ga inget, Singapur apa ya waktu playgroup?
58. First pair of trainers: Oshkosh B’gosh kayanya?

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: ngga
60. Drinking: ngga
61. I’m about to: nugazzzuks
62. Listening to: Dunia Semu - The Milo
63. Waiting on: text message

YOUR FUTURE
64. Want kids?: Yep
65. Get Married?: Haha, yes?
66. Career?: hm, hope I got the chance to work in an advertising agency in NY as a copywriter. Anywhere sih, as long as I get to be a copywriter. 

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: HUGS!
69. Shorter or taller: taller
70. Older or Younger: Older is better, just like the wine. tsah
71. Romantic or spontaneous: it’s better if people could be both
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: stomach
73. Sensitive or loud: loud
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: Ewwww no.
77. Drank hard liquor: nah
78. Lost glasses/contacts: yes…
79. Sex on first date: noo, hell no.
80. Broken someone’s heart: I guess
82. Been arrested: nope
83. Turned someone down: i have
84. Cried when someone died: yes
85. Fallen for a friend? hahahahaha

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: Yea, but sometimes I don’t.
87. Miracles: yep
88. Love at first sight: yes
89. Heaven: yes
90. Santa Claus: No
91. Kiss on the first date: nggg no
92. Angels: yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no
95. Did you sing today?: yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: mmyes?
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? To the time when money isn’t really matter, so I could do pretty much whatever I want.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: Hah. I guess it’s my 19th birthday.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Not afraid, but a lot more careful than usual, yes.

100. Posting this as 100 truths?: Ya.